When I lived on the Southside of Glasgow, it was a fairly regular occurrence to have a police helicopter sweeping overhead. Once it was there for the better part of an hour, sweeping towards me, hovering near the building, checking all the gardens, veering off to the Gorbals, only to return. I never thought twice about it, save to enjoy the excitement and comfort the cats.
But when the same thing happens in Dunoon, with the chopper hovering over the rectory for 10 minutes, moving only as far as the bishop’s glen before returning, it is slightly more unnerving. (I watch all this, of course, from one of my many ground floor single glazed rooms.)
So, I decide to risk making a fool of myself by checking in with the local police. But it’s Saturday, so I get shunted to Strathclyde.
‘Look,’ says I, ‘there’s a helicopter hovering over my house sweeping my garden. Is there something I should know about? I live alone in a remote area.’
‘If there is a helicopter hovering, it means that the police are dealing with an ongoing incident. They are sweeping your garden in order to deal with it. There is nothing to worry about.’
How very reassuring.
Now, shall I heat the mulled wine to soothe the fretful felon should be appear?